A Nod of Acceptance
From Diabetes Self-Management blog
A Nod of Acceptance
Joe Nelson
Giving someone a nod when we see them is often a means of recognizing
their presence. It’s not like stopping full-out and saying “How are
you?” which can lead to a longer conversation, but it is a
recognition of another person and an acceptance of their presence.
When I started working with people who had diabetes, the catchphrases
seemed to be “They haven’t accepted their diabetes” or “I guess I
haven’t accepted my diabetes.” Sometimes this meant that a person’s
diabetes was out of control due to some poor choices, and sometimes
it meant that he simply wasn’t paying attention to it. But everyone
was looking for a simple explanation for why they were having trouble
with diabetes control, and it was chalked up to acceptance.
My impression of acceptance used to be that it was some type of “open-
arms” gesture, with a sense of welcoming whatever we were accepting.
Since I didn’t believe that this happened for most people who have
diabetes, I strongly disagreed with the notion that a person had to
accept his diabetes in order to live with it. In fact, I saw many
people who hated the condition, like my dad, but managed it fairly
well. It seemed clear that it wasn’t acceptance but another
term, “adaptation,” that was really important in terms of living with
diabetes. I still believe this.
Adaptation is recognizing the reality of a situation, identifying
options for how to deal with it, and then acting on the best
perceived alternative. If we learn how to adapt, it is a strength we
will have forever.
When it comes to dealing with diabetes, a person is certainly
encountering change all the time. Change will come with stages of
life, physiological changes, stressors, and lifestyle changes. In all
of these situations, we must adapt.
I have to admit that I have also adapted my two concepts of
acceptance and adaptation. I am now recognizing that acceptance
doesn’t have to imply such an “open-arms” invitation to diabetes, but
it does mean a willingness to give diabetes a nod of recognition.
It’s not always necessary to stop and give it the attention we would
give to a good friend, but it is necessary to give it its due: a nod
of acceptance that it exists and that, unless we are willing to give
it enough attention, it will demand more than we want it to get.
So do you give diabetes a nod of acceptance, or do you try to avoid
the reality of its presence?