Hi Everyone
Hi Eileen,
The diagnosis of diabetes can be very hard to go through. I was only 9 when
I was diagnosed with type 1, insulin-dependent diabetes, but no matter the
age it is a diagnosis that requires major life changes, many of which are
unpleasant (finger pokes for testing blood sugar, insulin injections, A1c
tests, etc.) or else very challenging (eating healthy, exercising regularly,
etc.). Although it’s perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed, sad, frightened,
or angry when you learn you have diabetes, it’s also important to put these
emotions aside after a while and learn to manage the condition. Diabetes is
a condition that CAN be managed, and people CAN live a relatively normal
life if they have the right tools and knowledge. The insulins, glucose
meters, and other tools available to diabetics today are vastly improved
over those available even 14 years ago when I was diagnosed.
I am also a full-time student, so I understand how stressful that can be. I
do not think you should have to be a “caregiver” to your mother unless she
has severe complications from diabetes or other medical conditions that
prevent her from being able to take care of herself–and even then,
depending on the conditions, there are ways to remain independent. I have
been severely visually impaired (legally blind) my entire life (not related
to diabetes) and there are tools out there that enable even those with no
vision or other disabilities to test blood sugar and measure insulin
independently. It should not be your responsibility to make sure that your
mother takes her insulin before you leave, that’s something that she needs
to remember to do on her own, just as you remember to brush your own teeth.
If your mother is taking insulin it should be part of her daily routine, the
same as testing her blood sugar or taking any other medications she has is.
As hard as it will be for her, she is the one with diabetes and she is the
one who should have primary responsibility for managing it. That does not
mean, of course, that support and a little help now and then won’t be
appreciated!
It sounds like your mother is really struggling emotionally. Even after more
than 14 years there are still days that I feel angry, frustrated, or sad
about having diabetes, and yet it’s important to not let these emotions
interfere with diabetes management. It’s important for your mother to know
that a high blood sugar reading is NOT “bad,” nor is a normal blood sugar
reading “good.” These readings are simply information, nothing more. One of
the biggest reasons for measuring blood sugar levels is to make decisions
based on those numbers. If a reading is too high perhaps she needs more
insulin to bring it down; if it’s low perhaps she needs to eat something to
bring it up. If there is a pattern of high readings then perhaps she needs
to talk to her doctor about adjusting her insulin dosage, adding another
kind of insulin, or adjusting any oral medications she’s on. Diabetes does
NOT need to be the focus of her life. Has your mother had an appointment
with a diabetes nurse or Certified Diabetes Educator? They can teach her
what type of diet to eat as well as how to use exercise, insulin, and other
medications to manage her diabetes. I’d also suggest finding out if there is
a diabetes support group in your area (these are usually run through a local
hospital). Meeting other people with diabetes and seeing how they manage it
might be an enormous help to her. If your mother is having serious emotional
issues, then counselling or other professional help should be sought.
I hope this message has helped. It’s wonderful that you are concerned about
your mother and want to support her, but in the end it has to be her
decision to take control of the diabetes rather than letting it control her.
Diabetes should not be a condition that makes someone “sick” all the time,
and if she has other conditions such as CHF then learning to maintain, and
putting in the effort to maintain, normal blood sugars can only make her
feel better overall in the long run. It’s a hard acceptance to make; it took
me years before I finally realized that I could make my blood sugar do
pretty much what I wanted instead of conforming my life to it. But in the
end, learning to accept and manage diabetes is one of the best things a
person can do, both emotionally and physically. Yes, it’s all right to feel
emotional about diabetes on occasion, but when it takes over your life and
stops you from doing what needs to be done, then something must change. Feel
free to post as often as you’d like to this list, I’m sure there are others
here who have struggled with acceptance and with the daily grind of diabetes
management.
I wish you the best of luck, and have a happy holiday season. Perhaps 2006
will be the year that your mother begins to take charge of her own diabetes.
Jen
List moderator