OLD AGE
My doctor said I look like a million dollars –
green and wrinkled. (RED SKELTON)<br
the age when I need my false teeth and my hearing aid
before I can ask where I’ve left my glasses. (STUART
TURNER)<br
eyesight, arthritis, and the habit of telling the same
story three times to the same person.<br
of 50 is very thin, she can pass for years younger.
(AUDREY HEPBURN)<br
high and I’ll show you a man who is having trouble
adjusting his bifocals.<br
are thick and tired of it all.<br
working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain. (CAROL
LEIFER)<br
like a cello. (B.L.)<br
but it’s no beauty specialist. (HERBERT V. PROCHNOW
AND HERBERT V. PROCHNOW JR.)<br
you’re getting older when everything hurts, and what
doesn’t hurt doesn’t work.<br
you stop patting yourself on the back and begin doing
so under the chin.<br